


Various Storms and Saints

by Irma7x



Series: We all lose when the family feuds [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Parents, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Canon Related, Interlude, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Parents AU, brief mention of Han Solo's death, kylux as parents, science babies!, smut but mostly fluff and an anxious Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:53:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16702042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irma7x/pseuds/Irma7x
Summary: Interlude between 'Moonbroch' and its coming sequel.After running away from the war when Starkiller Base exploded, Kylo Ren and General Hux think they have found solance and a little bit of peace on their new home in Naboo with their baby. But things don't always go as smoothly, as Kylo notices, when he involuntarily forms a force-connection with the Scavenger from Jakkuu.





	Various Storms and Saints

**Author's Note:**

> I AM BEYOND RELIEVED TO FINALLY BE POSTING THIS!  
> School and work took a huge toll on me and I couldn't find a single moment to write. I know it's been super long, fuck! And I am beyond sorry! But as I've said before, this story is nowhere near over! There's still the second part coming. This is just an interlude, a moment of their lives that will give way to the next installment.  
> Apologies once again, hope this makes up for it! (as always, all mistakes are mine since english is not my first language and this is unbeta-ed)

He wakes abruptly. Kylo Ren wakes and immediately tenses up as if to ready himself for combat. Heartbeats like the sound of thunder in his ears. Echoes of last night’s vision making his heart race as fast as if he had ran throughout the dense forests of Endor. Last night...as soon as he had locked eyes with the Scavenger, the stress of the battle that he had just walked away from washed over him like an aggressive torrent.

Gazes locked--measuring each other up for a long while; both of them with the same perplexed look in their eyes as they tried to make out what was happening. One minute, Kylo had been cuddling beside his family in bed and next thing he sees out of nowhere was _her_ , right in front of him.

It took them an uneasy moment to figure out that what they were both seeing were mere visions of the other...an inexplicable bond through the force.

“Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours...only you” He had calmly asked when he noticed that her eyes kept drifting to the sleeping figure of his partner and daughter. Neither his unusually even tone, nor did the harmless image of the two villains in bed with a _baby_ , do anything to ease her boiling anger. It only added to her disbelief in him, her exasperation at having to watch him looking unperturbed with life after everything he had done.

Kylo felt him then: Luke. As soon as Rey noticed that Kylo had sensed him she disappeared. And just like that, sleep escaped him. Whenever he would drift he’d find himself waking suddenly, on and off again throughout the otherwise peaceful night in Naboo. Only when he let himself nuzzle Lara’s fragile head could he relax--that, as well as Hux’s light snoring beside him as an unusual lullaby (he only did that when he was deeply asleep, and though the sound was like a quieter version of a dying Hutt, it was lovely nevertheless).

Now, that same tiny being that had helped calming him down last night was soothing him back to reality, starting with gentle pats to Kylo’s chest, though she was really trying to reach for his nose as usual. Two green orbs peek at him curiously at first, and at seeing the lack of response from his still sleepy dad, she becomes more determined at her intent to poke his nose to get his full attention. It’s tremendously adorable, even if she was quickly getting desperate at his resistance--adding that to the fact that Hux wasn’t the first one up, _again_.

Kylo scoots her up and holds her to his chest, gently rubbing her back. This close, she can finally reach his nose as she wanted, happily gurgling in victory, and he can breathe in that wonderful fragrance of hers to calm down.

Kylo never knew that he could feel such purity in a place he had already deemed wilted--that black spot on his chest swayed with warmth at the sight of the unafraid child that he held in his arms.

Grateful for that precious little energy boost, he gathers an inpatient Lara and goes to prepare her breakfast, leaving Hux to keep resting (if it wasn’t for the rising and falling of his chest and the occasional moan from the awkward position of his neck he could’ve fooled anyone into thinking he was _dead_ \--limbs completely lax and unmoving as he lies face up on their bed).

He goes through the morning routine as always, handling Lara in one arm as he prepares her formula in the kitchen. He had found a certain kind of peace in such mundane and domestic rituals; finds it a little bit easier to breathe with Lara’s soft laughter filling the room as she was being playfully bounced on her father’s grip.

But no matter how much fun he has with her, he can’t quite shake the uneasiness from his body as he moves around the kitchen. He feels observed. As if the presence of the scavenger still lingers in the air...he isn’t certain if the itching at the back of his neck is just nervousness or if it’s indeed Rey’s eyes burning a hole through his skull.  

Lara’s demands distract him for a while. He fights his own sabotaging brain and focuses solely on the lovely pools of green that peer at him from within his embrace. He takes a deep breath and gently cards through her soft locks as she feeds; strokes her delicate cheeks until her eyes become drowsy from being gingerly massaged by her father.

After he pats her gas out of her when she’s finished, he takes a moment to really look at her and allows himself to smile--chest brimming with nothing but the purest love. He must’ve been projecting it so loudly that it seemed to have reach Lara, making her crinkle her eyes at him in response.

But that loving moment quickly cuts off and he tenses when he feels _something_ moving behind him. He apprehensively turns but doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary, just the living room space as they had left it last night, nicely illuminated now by the rays of sun filtering through the curtains.

He scans the room yet again.

Nothing.

With a deep breath, he gets up and goes to wash Lara’s bottle and prepare Hux’s breakfast. He concentrates on the task of slicing up fruit as if it was his sole occupation--afraid that if he lets his gaze wander around he might accidently conjure up the reflection of the scavenger on some surface.

So focused was he, that he jumps like a scared cat at the feeling of _something_ touching the back of his neck, and registers way too late, that the laughter coming from behind him was Hux’s--who had merely pressed his lips against the nape of Kylo’s neck in a good morning kiss.

“For fuck’s sake, Hux!”

“What in the world is wrong with you?” Hux’s face twists in a mocking grin, far too amused by Ren’s despair. “Well, who else were you expecting?”

“Shut up” Kylo huffs and hands the baby to Hux--a baby who’s delighted to be greeted with so much glee by her other dad; every inch of her face is immediately showered with kisses as soon as she’s deposited in Hux’s arms.

“Morning, my darling” He softly cooes while nuzzling her fine curls. “Has she eaten?”

“Yep” Kylo replies absentmindedly, trying to block Hux from peeking at what he was doing.

“What’s that?”

“Go back to bed” Kylo all but grunts, “I was going to bring you breakfast”

“I’d rather have it on the table like a civilized person” It’s only Hux’s brand of acid humour but Kylo is in no mood for it after everything that has transpired, so he just shakes his head and makes it evident to Hux that he has no patience for his bullshit at the moment.

Hux, ever so receptive of his partner's mood, eases on the teasing and reaches his side, lightly kissing Kylo’s cheek while trying to discern the problem. “What’s wrong, hmm? Everything alright?” Hux’s lips brush against skin as he murmurs.

“I’m fine” Kylo dares not to melt under the attention--disposition as hard as stone against Hux, defensive. Hux’s kiss moves to the very edge of Kylo’s lips as he sends out in thought, _“Sorry. I know it’s all still very fresh and it’s hard to be at ease. It was insensitive of me...”_

When Kylo doesn't reply, Hux simply states out loud.

“If I go back to bed I’ll end up blacking out again. I already feel awful by having wasted the majority of the morning.”

“You deserve the rest” Kylo doesn’t quite address the actual reason behind his uneasiness. He’d just let Hux think that it’s due to the stress of recent events. He didn’t know how Hux would react if he told him that somehow the scavenger had found them. Best to keep it to himself.

Kylo gives in and quickly returns Hux’s kiss with a brief peck on the lips. “If you’re so _civilized_ ” he says imitating Hux’s accent. “Help me prepare the caf while I finish here. I’m not your servant.”

“Asshole.” Hux is glad to have recuperated the mood. “I can’t. I’m in charge of lady Lara here, can’t you see that my hands are full?”

“If I can manage all the shit that goes with her meals while carrying her, you can definitely handle it”

Hux loudly snorts and goes to do as told.

They share a tranquil breakfast with fruit, warm bread and two deliciously rich, steaming mugs of caf--perfect to awaken the heavy-eyed.

Hux basks in the pleasure of sharing a family meal, but a distant alert kept dimly ringing in the back of his mind as he notices how jumpy Kylo seems overall, and how his eyes twitch and scan his surroundings during the course of the morning--like an animal in captivity, minutes before its slaughter.

They return to bed after breakfast, leaving Lara on the cradle they had accommodated right there on the main room with them, before tucking themselves in bed.  

They lie facing each other, simply taking in the silence and nothingness. They stare at each other and realize they haven’t had a quiet moment for themselves to blank their minds and enjoy their intimacy without burdens. Their eyes flood with a lazy kind of want and they tentatively move like magnets, slowly coming together.

Hux scoots closer and gently cradles Kylo’s cheek, whose eyes close as a thumb lovingly caresses his skin. He returns the gesture, lightly grazing Hux’s chin to bring their faces closer.

Hux follows the line that bisects Kylo’s face, follows it from his forehead, then to his mole-covered cheeks, his lips...those full lips, ever so enticing. Kylo’s eyes get lost on the silver flecks he discovers in Hux’s own eyes and feels a stirring in his heart; his palm caresses the side of Hux’s face and finds the burn of his growing beard quite pleasant--notes the shade of it suits him so handsomely.

Closer and closer they scoot, until their breaths tingle the sensitive skin of each other’s lips.

They close the final gap in unison, meeting for what seemed like their _first_ kiss; unsure and timid at first, savoring one another like they never had, before growing more sure, more determined. Even the scratching of their facial hair doesn’t matter so much--in fact it only fuels their attraction, their hunger.

They kiss, languidly--making out as if they were the teenagers they had never been allowed to be, making up for those lost years, that stolen youth.

They kiss and tangle their legs together. They kiss with curious hands, exploring the softness of black and ginger locks, the firmness of their muscles flexing, the lines and planes and textures of their skin--the natural warmth of their bodies, the rising and falling of chests breathing, the steady pulse on the side of their necks...

Hux arches back and hums, relishing the way that Kylo sucks at his neck so much that he traps him in place with firm fingers on Kylo’s silky curls. Hux takes advantage of the angle to leave a trail of kisses on the side of Kylo’s head, then nudging him with his nose to reach his cheek, reverently kissing each freckle.

It’s not long until their tongues meet again, more eager than before. Exchanging hot breath with ardent urgency. Desperate, insistent, wet licks. Moans spilling when their fervour is too much to contain. They lose the track of time like that...they kiss for a lifetime.

After a thorough exploration, their frantic movements cease, leading the way to chaste pecks--closed lips barely touching, like the cool-down after a demanding exercise, with their burning blood travelling all throughout their excited bodies.

With a last exhale, they stop...their gazes drowsy with satisfaction.

Kyo could feel every fibre of love and care with the way that Hux kept caressing his face after their lips had parted. So precious, that an intrusive thought of what the scavenger could do if she were to appear right at that second, raised goosebumps all over his flesh.

Hux notes the change in Kylo’s demeanor, _of course_ \--how his brow contorts in a deep frown no matter how soft Hux keeps his ministrations, and how his eyes avert downwards in reflection. “Ren, what’s the matter? You’re still on edge, aren’t you?”     

With an audible gulp, Kylo swallows his confession.

He can’t tell Hux, he just can’t. He would be furious. Or he wouldn’t believe him altogether.

Before he can formulate an answer, Lara starts humming and gurgling from her spot in her cradle. Ever the strategist, Hux propones, “How about we go outside to the gardens? It’s a nice day, I think it might be good for you to relax. And Lara could use the sunbathing”

And so they both gather themselves up and the baby, grab a blanket and step outside.

\---

With the fresh breeze that came all the way from the springs of Naboo they lose themselves in the sanctity of the garden--the three of them lying peacefully on top of a blanket while enjoying the fine day. It was sunny but not hot, perfect to just relax and let their minds clear all remaining worry. Or at least, that’s what Kylo was still struggling to do.

He lets his eyes wander over the scene beside him: Hux like he had never seen him before--truly a transformed man, all radiant smiles and goofy voices for their daughter.

 _I could see myself spending the rest of my days with this man_ , he thought.

Like a bird trapped in a cage within his ribs, he feels his heart fluttering all over the place with an ancient yearning, so he scoots closer to sooth it--burying his nose at the crook of Hux’s neck to breathe in his scent and Lara, who’s carefully placed on top of Hux’s chest, grows even giddier at her other dad approaching them and joining in on the silly coos.

“I want to ask you for a favor” Hux sounds uncertain, so Kylo simply nods in encouragement for Hux to spill whatever in the world was bothering him.

“I want you to get a radio or anything similar. Something that transmits the news from the war”

Kylo can’t process what he hears. He thought the deal was to get away as far as they could from that circus. “Why?”

“I want to know how it’s progressed since our departure; what’s been said of our status. Are we officially dead? We _need_ to know, we can’t just live in the unknown forever. If I want to get out to the streets someday, how will I know when the right time comes? Once our deaths are announced we might be able to go out freely again...with aliases of course...and we might need to change our appearance a little bit, but it would not be outright evident that it’s us. I suppose. Did you really expect me to live here imprisoned for the rest of my days? What will happen when Lara needs to go to school or-I don’t _know..._ ”   

Hux gets lost in his own words and stares ahead, annoyed at himself for displaying such vulnerability and Kylo feels bad for having neglected such an important point in their deflection.

The change had been easier for Kylo, with the force as his ally. He could manipulate the surroundings all around him in order to slip through unnoticed when it was necessary to go out, while Hux had to remain caged in their house. But even that tactic would wear out someday and they both knew it.

“I will get it” Kylo assures Hux, who displays all the gratitude in the world in his gaze.

They let the matter slide since the goal in the first place was to relax. When Lara starts to leave a pool of drool on Hux’s chest where she rests, the couple indulge in the luxury of idle chatter--talking about everything and nothing. Right now they have all the time in the world.

“Did you come here often as a child?”

“Not at all. I don't remember much, really. I distinctly recall the first time I ever came here...how the energy all around me felt. But I must’ve returned just twice after that, maybe, I don't know. Most things from my childhood are hazy. What I do remember though, is wanting _so_ badly to go explore the waterfalls, uphill. I’ve only just seen them from the viewport of ships but was never really allowed to go there by myself”

“Maybe you and I can go someday…” Hux omits the words, _as a date_ , because it would be ridiculous and he felt like an awkward teenager. A date. Kylo Ren and General Hux out on a _date_. But then again, the idea wasn’t all that unattractive. They had never really gone out together or shared evenings or activities as a couple, ever.

“I’d really like that” Kylo’s mind was already racing with scenarios of the two of them walking along the waterfalls, kissing and embracing at sundown. “But what about Lara?”

“Ah, fuck” Hux exclaims while fondly looking at the sleeping form on him. They both laugh at the silliness of it all, despite everything. Now that they had the opportunity to do couple-stuff together they couldn’t. It was just their luck.

“We’ll figure something out”

As if sensing that the conversation was revolving around her, Lara begins to stir.

“Hey there, my darling” Hux softly greets her, gently helping her adjust once again. “My _beautiful_ star”

The pet name brings a smile to Kylo’s face, remembering…

“ _Star_ ” Kylo laughs and Hux looks embarrassed for a moment but Kylo quickly adds “that reminds me”

“An uncle--well, not quite my uncle, just a close friend of...of my dad...” he frowns and tries to not let his thoughts navigate in that direction before continuing. “Lando. He used to call me little star-fighter. I just...the _star_ bit reminded me of that” he dismisses himself, thinking that he must sound silly but eases when he sees the fondness in Hux’s gaze when he stares at him and then at Lara.

“Quite fitting then. It just came out. My beautiful star and my star-fighter, then”

He was never going to live down the moment he heard Hux call him that. He swears his heart combusted right then and there, for his former pet name sounded like the most sublime kind of music when Hux said it.

“What were you called as a child?” Kylo regrets asking as soon as he sees and _feels_ a grey cloud over Hux’s thoughts. His childhood had always been a delicate subject. His eyes harden momentarily and Kylo softly caresses his cheek in sympathy. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me”

“Other than bastard and useless...” he says with vitriol, but as his eyes unfocus and his mind travels to a few treasured memories, he softens. “My mother, sometimes, when I would sneak into the kitchens to her, we would watch the rain together. There was really no denying Brendol, I was terribly thin and frail. My mother used to call me _raindrop_ , for that same reason. But where Brendol would say I was as useless as paper, my mother would say I was as vital to her as the water. Delicate, yet vital. _My little raindrop_ , she would say.”

Though vital was the opposite of what a raindrop had been for Haera. Hux is quick to fall back into those dark depths of his mind. The rain had killed her in the end. In a way, _he_ had killed her. The lengths she went to...just to see her little _raindrop_ once again.

When sensing the sombre path that Hux’s thoughts were taking, Kylo’s lips gently wander around the side of Hux’s temple for as long as necessary to bring Hux back to the present.

They both have their eyes closed in meditation when something just _shifts_.

All sound dims. Like submerging in water.

Time seems to freeze and Kylo turns. The scavenger is standing in the rain of Ahch-To, on the other side of the galaxy but _right there_ with him at the same time.

“Why is the force connecting us, you and I?”

“MURDEROUS SNAKE!”

Kylo can feel the anger raging within her with every laboured breath she takes--something so raw and visceral revolting inside of her by the sight of him. And confusion, so much confusion, now that she’s seen him with his family.

Beyond that, there’s the presence of his uncle somewhere in the background, and the weight of him over Rey’s perception.

“Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you what happen?”

“I know everything I need to know about you!” And even she can’t believe that--which pisses her off the most.

“You do?” Kylo dares. She doesn’t know half of it. “ _Oh_ , you do…You have that same look in your eye, from the forest. You called me a monster”

“You ARE a monster!” And yet her memory keeps going back to that first force-encounter. Kylo sees it all and keeps taunting her. Something sick in him revelling in the show of twisting her beliefs. “Yes I am”

But when he says so, he feels torn. Can’t quite keep up the act for much longer. Rey senses this and he scolds himself. Now she’s seen his vulnerabilities--just as he’s seen hers. No one has the upper hand anymore, no one’s confident enough of their own paths.

With one painful breath Rey disappears but Kylo doesn’t disconnect right away from their trance. He feels the island’s rain against his skin, looks down at his hand where a puddle of raindrops have gathered and closes his fist in annoyance. He doesn’t want any of this, whatever it is. He wants the scavenger gone as well as Luke.

“REN!”

Hux’s voice reels him back. He turns and stares into those icy eyes and for a moment he loses himself. _Raindrops._ There are no more in his fist...just Hux’s eyes in front of him, vibrant with a mix of anger and worry.

“What in the hells happened to you!? “Why were you talking to yourself all of a sudden!?”

He’s at a loss for words. How could he explain?

“There’s something you’re not telling me! Why!? What is it!?”

“No, Hux, it’s just-I thought I saw something…it’s nothing”

“You’ve been on edge all morning and all of a sudden you break out and start having a conversation with the air! What is it, Ren?”

“Nothing, I swear. I zoned out, it’s the stress. I didn’t get any sleep last night at all, not even an hour. I must’ve zoned out, really, Hux.”

Hux huffs, not buying a single word, and stands up with Lara in arms. “I’m going to do the laundry today, our clothes are filthy. If you have something you want me to wash leave it at the kitchen table.”

The planet Hoth could’ve been a tropical paradise against Hux’s cold tone.

“Hux, please!”

“You think I’m an idiot!? I’m insulted if you think I’m buying that bullshit. I’ve had to put up with a lot from you, Ren. But I won’t tolerate your dishonesty, nor you belittling me by thinking I will believe whatever idiocy you come up with. I thought you trusted me”

He didn’t even let Kylo speak, he left him by the gardens and went back inside.

By himself, Kylo melts down: he punches the grass repeatedly in a poor attempt to canalize his desperation but he feels even more lost and heartbroken.

Damn Skywalker, damn the scavenger, damn the war and everything else that won’t stop suffocating him.

At least he’s alone when the tears start to trail down from his eyes.

\---

Hours later, Kylo finds Hux in the little laundry room at the back of the house (if they could call it that; it was a mere, tiny shed outside, with only one ancient washing machine that seemed to be _centuries old_ , that Hux had to repair before even using, but nothing else. Thank the maker for Kylo’s previous grocery shopping where he had at least gotten some soap).

Given the lack of proper equipment, Hux had been angrily scrubbing away at capricious stains before dropping them in the washer; the pair had just a few rags they hadn’t washed since their escape, so most of their laundry consisted of Lara’s onesies and bibs. Hux had never mourned the First Order’s cleaning service like he did at the moment--loudly projecting his discontent as he worked.

Kylo walks closer to him and can see the beads of sweat forming at the back of Hux’s neck from the effort, so he takes a chance and lightly licks the path that a drop had left down his lover’s neck.

“Go away!” Hux growled and increased the harshness of his scrubbing. Kylo just ignores him, continuing his trail of sweet kisses up to the place below Hux’s ear.

“No, no, no, stay BACK! You can’t just come in here like this expecting me to forgive you!”

Kyo moves quickly and traps Hux’s body against him with an iron grip on his waist. “Sure I can” he hotly exhales. In that position, it was wickedly strategic and terribly convenient for Kylo to use his hardening erection to his advantage, rubbing it insistently against Hux’s lower back to coax him into giving in.

“Fuck off”

“What was that?” He puts on an innocent voice while his pelvis just does the contrary--rubbing sinfully at Hux, turning him into goo with the delicious friction. Even Hux couldn’t resist _that,_ and Kylo knew it. A hand firmly grasps the delicate skin of Hux’s neck, angling it so that Kylo could whisper filth right into his ear. “What was that, _baby_?

“You’re...” and Kylo tightens his hold on Hux’s neck. “You self-assured, son of a bitch”

Kylo devilishly chuckles before aggressively attacking Hux’s lips with his own--tongues clashing messily--not even kissing but biting each other’s mouths, tasting more of frustration than anything else.

Kylo had been so immersed in the kiss that he hadn’t done much except for progressively tightening his grip on Hux--hands bruising the alabaster skin beneath his shirt.

“Is that all you got? Come on, Ren, you wanted an apology? Give it to me then, show me what you got, is this it!?” Hux’s crystalline eyes turn greedy with need as he defies Kylo--urges him to follow through with his poor excuse of an apology.  

A deep, feral growl resounds against the walls as Kylo tears Hux’s shirt off and bends him uncomfortably against the washing machine before roughly removing his pants and underwear in one swift motion, wasting no time in assaulting Hux’s hole with his tongue.

Hux feels completely torn--hating Kylo’s guts for his childish behavior but loving every second of this random outburst because the heat radiating from this ridiculous man-child was so, _so delicious_ . He laughs madly when he sees something floating from the corner of his eye-- _of course_ \--the absurdly convenient trick of summoning the lube with the force. But no matter how laughable the move is, Hux is grateful, for Kylo is immediately stuffing him up, both with his tongue and fingers, to make way for the grand prize.

“Come on! Put your back into it, Ren, is that _all_ ? Is that all that the _mighty_ Kylo Ren is capable of doing? How _pathetic_ ”

Kylo shuts him right up by filling him up with four fingers and increasing the speed of his scissoring while desperately seeking that spot inside Hux that made him sing the naughtiest of choirs at the top of his lungs.

“Enough of that, get in me already!” And without further ado Kylo obeys; he takes off all his clothes, pours a liberal amount of lube on his dick and enters Hux with one deep thrust.

He doesn’t even give him time to adjust but it’s okay--Hux _loves_ the burn, the violent and merciless stretch of that thick cock inside of him. To think that it was all Hux’s, that it belonged to him and him alone--it adds to the exquisite flame growing in the pit of his stomach.

“That’s it, _that’s it_ ” Hux prays and prays as Kylo keeps pistoning into him like an untamed animal.

“This what you want?” Kylo’s pants into Hux’s ear. “Is this what you want from me?”

“I'm not sure is enough”

Kylo groans and is sure if he keeps fucking him as hard as Hux demands, he will pass out from sheer exertion. He’s already seeing stars when he closes his eyes to concentrate.

He pours out all of his strength and really buries himself inside of Hux--who lets out a guttural moan when Kylo plunges just deep enough to hit his prostate the right way. Again and again, faster and harder, aiming to milk his pleasure. Neither will last long with that pace.

Kylo’s at the very edge--tries to conjure up the force to keep his orgasm at bay somehow but feels weakened. “Can I come?”

“I don’t know that you deserve to” Hux is just as breathless as Kylo is--all the bite from his words gone as he moans so sweetly for how good his partner is fucking him. Kylo’s on the verge of tears, panting into Hux’s mouth and pleading for release.

“ _Please, please, please, baby, please”_

“Prove to me that you deserve it”

Kylo closes his eyes and focuses solely on the movement of his hips. All sound mutes except for the hard slaps of skin against skin, faster than the engines of his TIE-Silencer and louder than Starkiller’s distress sirens...he tries to hold on by painfully capturing Hux’s lips with his teeth, almost drawing blood.

Time seems to freeze as every nerve on both of their bodies--from the very tip of their toes to the top of their heads--seems to short-circuit and collapse.

They both growl into the other’s mouth, foreheads clashing against one another as their orgams wash over them at the same time. A perfect synchronization. The potency of one’s orgasm heightening the sensations of the other thanks to their connection through the Force--suspending them in time, within a pool of endless bliss.

With deep breaths and wet pants, their muscles turn lax like fresh clay; Kylo’s arms flop down from their previous strain against Hux’s skin.

They intertwine their fingers while they desperately kiss, even if they find it hard to do so for a lack of breath.

They don't untangle until the stickiness of their shared sweat and dried come feels uncomfortable.

Hux turns around to face Kylo and loosely wraps his arms around his neck. His tone stern, but tender underneath as he speaks.

“This doesn’t end here. Don’t for one minute think that this is how things are solved. We need to speak to one another. Now get out of here. Thanks to this stunt I have more clothes to wash. When I finish here I want to go back to see Lara fed and ready for her nap, do you hear me?”

“I do” Kylo pours out his regret in thought, hoping that Hux will hear. With one last kiss, they both return to their respective duties.

\--

Kylo feels like he’s _glowing_ . He sits on the steps that lead to the backyard garden, shirtless, hoping that the cool wind will refresh him and wash away his fears and worries. He certainly felt _amazing_ after his and Hux’s previous fuck. They hadn’t done it like that in _so long_ : careless, rough and spontaneous, just like how it was in the beginning. Lately, the occasions had called for _love-making_ , and where those sessions felt more like a consummation, fucking like they had just done was liberating. He feels as light as a leaf flowing in the wind and deliciously spent.

He watches the sunset with Lara in arms, lulling her to sleep after having fed her. Even if a serious conversation still remained pending between him and Hux, he truly feels rested and content at least for one moment: the sky is turning, changing into beautiful hues of pink and orange to purples and darker blues, and he has his baby in arms to witness such an astounding phenomena. His heart feels too big for his chest.

He’s too caught up in the colors of the sky reflecting on Lara’s bright eyes, that he almost doesn’t hear that uninvited sound of a female, accented voice, “I’d rather not do this now”

He looks up and sees pitch black. Dismal skies and rain instead of the colors of the sunset, showering the Scavenger’s figure.

“Yeah, me too”  

It had to be now, hadn’t it? He couldn't have one single moment of peace. He tries to not let his anger show, instead regarding Rey with a calm facade. Plus, he couldn’t risk upsetting Lara with his mood change either.  

But that _damn_ Scavenger wouldn’t stop pressing him...“Why did you hate your father!?

“Do you have something- _a cowl_ or something you can put on!?”

He just stares at her nonchalantly, with a hint of dry amusement at her distress. He could read very well that she had sensed the source of his good mood--the origin of the flush that still painted his chest red and the luminous glint in his eyes. It infuriates her even more, making her stumble upon her words and contained tears as she keeps demanding, “Why did you hate your father!? give me an honest answer!”

“You had a father who _loved_ you-who gave a damn about you! why did you do it!? _Why!?_ Why did you do it!?”

“I didn’t hate him” His reply is weak against Rey’s cries--even if it’s the truth. _Specially_ because it’s the truth. He never did hate him. But it was too late now.

_“THEN WHY!?_

“Why what?” Now he’s just screwing with her, playing cat and mouse to sidetrack her with a few jabs of his own. Stalling because it was too much, too soon...

“Why _what_ ? Say _it”_

“Why did you--” Rey chokes up on her words--the vivid image of Han Solo falling to the precipice, crumbling her heart.

He almost grins at having shaken her so thoroughly--a sobbing wreck in front of him.

“Why did you kill him!? I don’t understand”

“No? Your parents threw you away like garbage”

“They _didn’t!_ ”

“They did. But you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness, looking for them everywhere...in Han Solo, now in _Skywalker_. Did he tell you what happened that night?" 

“Yes!”

He sees it all and can’t help but darkly chuckle. Sees the night that it all changed: a younger Luke Skywalker in fear of his nephew’s rising, untamed power, screaming for his life as his precious sanctuary tore down in flames. But it’s so, so wrong...a vision, twisted from a certain point of view.

_“No”_

“LIAR!”

She didn’t know half of it. He sends his memories out to her: his uncle’s eyes shining a wicked green from the reflection of his lightsaber as he aimed it at a young Ben Solo who had just woken up from a nightmare, to see the one family member who hadn’t abandoned him yet, ready to slice him down in half.

However, a little girl, as well as the Scavenger, seemed to have picked up on those disturbing thoughts, for amidst the heat of their argument, Lara begins to fuss, squirming within Kylo’s arms, which makes both parties suddenly go quiet.

Kylo partly hates himself for it, but he breaks character in front of Rey to gently shush his baby and calmly rock her back to sleep.

“Who is she?” Rey asks between rough hiccups, though with genuine, innocent curiosity instead of her previous exasperation.

“None of your business”

“Is she...yours?” Rey could not imagine how that could possibly be. The most logical reasoning to her was that Kylo and Hux had adopted her, but she couldn’t understand why or even, _when_ . Besides, there was something about the aura of that child that felt entirely _his_. Her veins sang with the Skywalker blood that they carried, there was no denying it. Had there been a surrogate mother? No, Rey couldn’t find a trace of her in his thoughts...

Astounded, Rey couldn’t help but keep inquiring, despite Kylo’s irritation. “H-how...?”

“Does anyone else know?”  

 _“Listen._ No one can _know_ ”

He fixes her with a gaze that could kill an entire star system, making it crystal clear that the news of Lara would not reach _anyone_ \--nor the Resistance or the First Order. Although, to put his trust in her was a feeble strategy. He knew that his uncle and mother would soon find out anyway--be it from Rey’s mouth or Lara’s own Force signature, so loud and present already. Surely Leia must’ve felt her when she was born--Lara had been born into this world rocking an entire medical ship.  

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. It's the only way to become what you’re meant to be.”

He hopes that Rey catches the meaning ingrained in those words. Hopes that his eyes speak volumes of everything he means to say but can’t bring himself to speak. That those vows were final and true. That by having ran away from the war, he abandoned his miserable fate for the chance to pursue this newfound calling as a father, as he also hoped that Rey would leave behind all uncertainty and flourish under the guidance of his uncle. Gods know Kylo was never going to succeed with how tragedy was written in his blood.

Rey was strong and powerful enough to achieve greatness and mend the broken pieces of the galaxy along with the Resistance, he was sure of it. He had seen the depths of her abilities first hand, back at the forest. Only the strongest of Jedi were able to meditate mid-combat to ask the Force for aid in their fight, for clarity. And she had done it innately.

He did not wish any of them ill any longer, if he was honest with himself. He just wanted to be left alone to try to redeem himself in exile.

For if Kylo was certain of something, was of the fact that Lara had arrived for a reason--far greater and purer than what he and Hux had been led to believe by Snoke. She had never been just an experiment, just an order issued by his former master to preserve their lineage. No, the Force works in mysterious ways, leading its children down their rightful path, however uncanny their blessings might seem. Kylo sends Rey these revelations in thought--the offering of a silent truce.

Despite her hesitation, she finally nods in understanding, though they both now that the fight isn’t quite over and that this will not be the last time they will see each other.

“If you want to protect her, you will have to _fight_ for her. If you come back to us...” _To Luke, to Leia...to me,_ teach _me_. “If you come back...the war would be over. Your family needs you”

“My family is right here with me”

And it happens as quickly as a lighting flash.

Kylo feels as if he had been thrown a bucket of ice cold water, every muscle paralyzed. As if having invoked him, the connection with Rey immediately dissolves by Hux’s harsh voice.  

“If this isn't just priceless! This is exactly how I wanted to find you”

“No! Hux, I’m-”

“This again!? Are you going to tell me what is going on or not!?”

“Hux, it’s--it’s complicated, you wouldn’t--” But Hux frostily scoffs without letting him finish. “Hand me the baby”

“Hux, please”

“ _JUST_. Hand me the baby, Kylo.”

And he knew he was in deep shit when Hux would refer to him by his first name instead of what had been his chosen endearment, _‘Ren’._

As soon as Lara’s deposited in his arms, Hux leaves without uttering anything else, leaving Kylo to wallow beneath what seemed like a moonless sky. He needed Hux now, more than ever, and he loathed himself for letting this happen again.  

\---

When Kylo enters their little cottage he’s assaulted by the smell of recently put-out candles and the lingering scent of something roasted. It was clear that Hux had eaten without him and even gone to bed already since everything was dark and not a single crunch or creak could be heard.

He finds his lover in the bedroom, tucked in up to his shoulders in a charming lump that rose and fell with his breathing. Though he was not asleep. A quick sweep of minds revealed a dreaming Lara in her bassinet but Hux’s anxious mind fuming. He could’ve fooled anyone but not Kylo.

He cautiously approaches the bed and sinks in beside Hux, ever so slowly cuddling closer, inch by wary inch to nuzzle his nose to the back of Hux’s neck (which was in fact, one of Kylo’s favorite parts of him. So delicate and smooth, as white as milk and perfect to kiss, which he does at the moment. A single kiss, tentative and shy).

“I’m afraid” he murmurs, voice groggy from having cried his throat raw. “There are things happening to me that I have no control of. Things I never wanted but now they’re here. And I’m afraid that if I tell you, you might leave me and all the baggage that comes with me” Kylo’s voice breaks at imagining a scenario where he’s made to live without Hux and Lara, and his heart starts to pound in precipitation when Hux turns to face him with a frown still painted on his features.

“Then I must be doing something wrong if you can’t trust me. What have I done to make you believe such _bullshit?”_

With Hux’s hard tone it was tough to discern if he was scolding Kylo or easing him. He had to take a minute to digest what Hux had said, to realize that it wasn’t ill-intended, as he continued,  “We vowed that we would be together through thick and thin. _I love you._ Whatever it is that’s going on, I’m not leaving you.”

The moment those four words slipped out of his mouth Kylo wanted to weep. He chokes on his monumental relief as he tries and fails to conjure up coherent sentences, “please don’t hate me. Don’t leave. We will be safe here, I promise you.”

Hux was getting preoccupied by Kylo’s rambling but did not press him any further. If there was something putting them in danger, all could be resolved by talking it out and forming a strategy. But they would never separate. Their souls had travelled a long way through the galaxy to finally reunite--the stardust in their bodies came from the same place. Hux would never let anything jeopardize their relationship, especially now that they were a _family._

“ _Tell me,_ ” Hux gently murmured. “I will stay with you forever. Anything that may come between us will have to face the muzzle of my blaster first.”

And there is nothing but resolve on Hux’s passionate gaze nor any hints of doubt that Kylo could sense in his mind.

With a deep intake of breath, Kylo begins to spill out _everything_ to his partner--not only his encounters with Rey but his feelings and fears, too. Not once did Hux’s will hazed, not at all. He listened attentively, and if anything, he felt hopeful that the Scavenger was capable enough of fighting against Snoke and finishing him at last.

Though he had to be careful with those kinds of thoughts...he didn’t want to invoke any unwanted listeners...

As always, Kylo felt reborn whenever he would talk to Hux, but felt inadequate, not knowing how to express the immense gratitude contained in his chest. He reached for his lover and planted the fondest of kisses on his lips. Words would never suffice to convey how much he cared.

Hux replied with a sweet kiss to Ren’s forehead before hugging him closer to him and tucking his beloved underneath his chin.

Kylo tightened his embrace and basked in the warmth of their little nest and the softness of Hux’s skin against his.

He could breathe now, everything was alright.

 _I love you too,_ was the last thought that flew through Kylo’s mind before  drifting into what would be his first, peaceful sleep after a lifetime of horrid nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me at tumblr!: theold-ultraviolence  
> Title is from a song by Florence and the Machine


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